I am so frustrated with the members of the Church! I think we must be the most uneducated church out there. I mean, if you profess to believe something, shouldn't you know WHAT you believe and WHY you believe it? I am so sick of the lukewarm! Priests, Sisters and laity all teaching and doing whatever they
feel instead of educating themselves and others about the beauty that is our faith. People trying to turn God into who they want Him to be instead of working to turn themselves into who God wants them to be. Do people think they will stand before the Lord at the end of their earthly lives and He'll say, "Oh, it's okay that you never bothered to learn about me, build a relationship with me, and serve my people?" No, He'll say, "Why didn't you love me with all your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself?"
Mass has been such a challenge for me (for longer than I want to admit). Not because of my wonderful daughter, she still allows us to enjoy Mass. But that's the problem, I am not enjoying Mass! I am constantly distracted by bad liturgies, bad homilies, bad music, REALLY bad music, bad ushers, announcements between the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist and parents allowing their kids to play video games during Mass! Seriously people! The Lord has given us the most beautiful and complete form of worship and we butcher it every week. So I spend Mass being annoyed, frustrated and sometimes downright angry and I waste the time for reflection, prayer and grace that I am given. The problem is clearly me. My soul is the one not seeking the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul. My heart is the one harden to hearing the Holy Spirit's message to me and seeing Christ in others. I am the weak one. The Lord didn't die for perfect sheep. He died for us 'no matter how hard we try (or don't try) and don't get it right' sheep. He is truly the GOOD SHEPHERD. His job is probably more like herding cats rather than sheep.
Dearest patient Jesus, please please please help me to not waste any of my life with a hardened heart. Please help me not be distracted and to see the grace that showers from heaven during Mass.
If anyone has any words of wisdom I would really appreciate it. I have been praying about this for a long time and
I am not getting any better. Praise the Lord for loving us as we are and constantly calling us to holiness.